HUFF.
PUFF.
BLOW MY HOUSE DOWN.
I chase from cloud to cloud,
Mountain to valley
Through every dim-lit room
Every empty alley.
A passing shadow
A fluttering leaf
I think I can breathe, I fear
I am at peace.
Within the passing shadows
Of my moonlit mind
I look for sorrow
And marvel at what I find.
Your face etched into every mountain
In this barren treeless terrain
Your voice,
Whistling through the hollow woods
Harkening thunderous rain!
​
I try to walk
To move ahead
But beneath the soil, your footsteps hammer.
the closer I look, the more I fumble
The more I stammer
​
I long to leave this land,
I die to stay
Encased in its memories hand
I flee today into melted muddled yesterday
​
​
Deep in the distance,
in this land of you
I've built in this mine-like mind of mine
I think I see myself.
The longer I stay,
The more I remember
Delusional flames die to a slow,
ashy ember.
​
​
​
​
​
How much space have I leased you for free?
How much do you illegally own of my body, mind, and me?
“I’d like it back please.” I hear myself whisper
“I'm taking it back.” I hear myself scream
Even in my own mind
You barely register me
Unless you're drunk and broken
And then suddenly,
I'm all you see.
My heart an empty thundering
I steady myself
Tell the beating in my chest
To rest.
No more pain and confusion
No more games and delusion
I push but you pull back
As you mount your cemented barracks
​
I huff and I puff as
I write your walls away
ask you if this time
You call because you're here to stay
Empty silence on a long line
I hang up.
No longer hung up.